“they don’t wanna know the real you, they just wanna say they feel you”

I’m not exactly sure how to start this post, so I’m going to just dive right in…

The other day I kind of hit a personal low; sometimes I think too much and there are times I let those thoughts control me…so it happened, I was allowing all these things I can’t control to control me and I remember a couple years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never allow another person, place, or thing make me feel any type of negative feeling. I promised myself to never let fear, anger, anxiety, hate, depression, jealously, or self-pity take over me again. Lets fast-forward to three years later and here I am, mad at myself for getting to that point. The difference this time is I was able to snap out of it within hours instead of years. I was able to apologize to myself that night and the next day get right back on track. I was able to spend the entire night and day alone to reconnect with myself and slowly remind myself why I made that promise. It took a long time to learn to love myself and I wasn’t going to ruin that because of someone or something I have no control over. Once you hit a low in your life and come out of it, you don’t ever want to go back because there is no better feeling than freeing yourself and doing what truly makes you happy. I think as humans we sometimes forget to love ourselves (and I’m not talking about being selfish) I’m just talking about knowing who you are, what you deserve and what makes you happy. We get so caught up in society, social media, trends, work, and other people we forget to stop and connect with ourselves. I think one of the main issues for us is worrying about what other people will think and who will we spend the rest of our lives with. Well here’s the answer—stop worrying about what other people think and find what you’re good at, what satisfies you and live life. Stop trying to find someone to make you happy, stop trying to find someone to define you, stop trying to find someone to love you–make yourself happy, learn who you are and love yourself. It is okay to be alone because one day the people you’re relying on and putting so much time and love into, won’t be there. You have to learn to live with them and live without them. This is something I’m learning. It’s okay to run errands, eat dinner, workout, go shopping, go to the bar, take a trip, or whatever else, alone; it’s the only way you can learn about yourself. When we let other people control our happiness and love, we are only hurting ourselves.

So the next time you feel like you’re not good enough–just remember, you are always good enough if you do your best. Never let anyone tell you can’t pursue your dreams and goals.

The next time you feel alone–just remember, it’s ok. someone doesn’t always have to be there because someone won’t always be there. When you wonder when you’ll get married or who you’ll spend your life with, the answer is you. Society makes us think we have to graduate by a certain age, have a job by a certain age and get married and have a family, but sometimes that’s not what we need. There’s so much to learn and see, it’s okay to do that. Apply for the job you’ve always wanted, take the road trip to the next state, meet new people, learn about a different culture, buy the plane ticket to somewhere else, make the move out of your hometown, start a project, do something you’ve always wanted and don’t regret it.

Stop listening to the negativity people feed you and stop depending on people.
Feed your mind with positivity and depend on yourself.

by the way, life is so much better when you turn off the T.V., and leave devices at home. Enjoy nature and open your eyes instead of having your head down all the time in some screen…just some food for though.

-A, J

 

The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs
(I love myself)
But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind
(I love myself)
He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide
(I love myself)
One day at a time, sun gonna shine
(I love myself)

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