a letter to my (ex) self

I was nineteen when I met you-
I remember it like it was yesterday, but for some reason we have different memories of that night; just like we have different memories of our relationship. I won’t go into detail because it’s such a sad story, but I’m here now to apologize, or perhaps say thank you.

To my ex-
I’m sorry you only loved me when it was convenient.
I’m sorry you gave me all your affection and I didn’t stay.
I’m sorry you were a liar.
I’m sorry you were controlling.
I’m sorry you were a cheater.
I’m sorry you got her pregnant.
I’m sorry you weren’t who I thought you were.
I’m sorry you weren’t the man for me.
I’m sorry you lost me.

I thank you for showing me what love isn’t.
I thank you for showing me it’s not just about intimacy.
I thank you for showing me I can still trust.
I thank you for showing me I can take control.
I thank you for showing me it wasn’t worth it.
I thank you for showing me I don’t want to be second.
I thank you for showing me your true colors.
I thank you for showing me I deserve better.
I thank you for setting me free.

To myself-
I’m sorry I loved him so much.
I’m sorry I gave him everything I had.
I’m sorry I believed him.
I’m sorry I didn’t have a backbone.
I’m sorry I stayed.
I’m sorry I almost played step mommy.
I’m sorry I created someone else is my head.
I’m sorry I let you down for six years.
I’m sorry it took so long to walk away.

I thank you for not becoming bitter.
I thank you for getting back up.
I thank you for believing yourself.
I thank you for becoming stronger.
I thank you for walking away.
I thank you for wanting your own.
I thank you for erasing those thoughts.
I thank you for forgiving me.
But most of all I thank you for forgiving him even though I didn’t stay.

 

 

 

Discovery Challenge: Apology

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